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  #1  
Old 07-05-2008, 07:44 PM
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didit didit is offline
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Default blood of the young.

a long time ago, I was traveling deep in to some secret caves when a small group of goblins appeared from nowhere. I instinctively drew my many blades and hid in the shadows. I then noticed they were running from something... I jumped over then and put the one who seemed to be there leader in a headlock, holding a blade close to his neck.
"whats going on?!?" I yelled. the goblin leader replied "the young is coming! its coming to kill us! if you know whats good for you come with us and we will get the hell out of here!" I looked away "I don't travel with goblins!" the goblins turned and ran off, there leader yelling "suit your self. may the emperor bless your soul"
I moved in to the shadows like i was trained to do. hiding from many silhouettes in the fire light.suddenly something shot passed me. looking up I spotted a glowing wand end, 2 red light and a blue one just a bit higher than the red lights. it came out of the dark. "hello, have you come to play?..." it asked. its face was distinguishable know. it looked like a child, at least it was a strange twisted image of a child, but a child never the less. it shot again and then transformed in to a large daemon. "morths!" I screamed "but they died out hundreds of years ago!" the daemon aimed at me and said "we are the young and as a act of mercy I will teleport you away from here. you must never return or you will die" a flash of light burst from the wand and when i opened my eyes I was in the Shattered Highlands. I then used all my strength to walk to the dragon tavern. I then fell on a table. as my vision grew bleak, I saw a kind moon elf and one of the bar tender come to help me.
awoke in one of the dragon taverns many resting rooms. the bar tender came in. "good to see your up, you gave us quite a scare" he chuckled. "how did I get here?" I asked, I then saw that my robes were gone and I was in a clean silk shirt and a pair of work trousers. the man replied "my wife and I got you cleaned up after you fell, you've been here for 2 days now. ha, I almost forgot my names john" i picked up my burned robes and pulled out a bag of money. "here" I gave him the bag of money "well, it seems you have given me too much..." he pointed out. "I know. I need to stay some were. can i stay here?" I asked "sure" he said "I'm sure my wife would like to meet you, now your awake and all. I'll send her up with some food" I put my head on the pillows and stared at the ceiling. later on the moon elf came in. "your the bar tenders wife?" I asked "yes and my name Zoe" she whispered as she gave me a plate full of 'wizard rune snaps' and dwarf 'wake up juice'. as I bit in to one of the wizard rune snaps she explained "I know what you have seen. you must returned. you may stay here as long as you wish but you must return to the cave... the cave of the young" and so I stayed for a week to regain my energy and then I left. as I waved good bye to the kind john and his wife Zoe, the wife called me back "take this" she said as she gave me a amulet. "it will protect you." "thank you, Zoe and thank you john. when im done I will return and share my story's with you." I thanked them once more before leaved. and my journey continued...





note: right, i want to continue this story but i need to know if people like it. if you do then pm me or comment or do both if you like. but any ideas, comments (good ones) or constructive criticisms will be used and i am thankful for. oh, and this is my on game account.

Last edited by didit; 07-06-2008 at 10:59 AM. Reason: to fix up typeing mistakes.
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  #2  
Old 07-05-2008, 08:47 PM
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Cool stuff! Just take your time when writing. Don't stop though, I can't wait for more. I like how fast paced the tale is going.
Being off topic I like your guys war cry.
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Old 07-06-2008, 12:31 AM
mattmann mattmann is offline
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good keep writing
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Old 07-06-2008, 06:15 AM
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Ashen Ashen is offline
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The story itself is decent, but the writing is difficult to follow...If at all possible, start using proper grammar. I mean, I don't care much whether you use your or you're, but capitalizing your I's would make it much easier to read.
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Old 07-06-2008, 11:01 AM
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didit didit is offline
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Red face grammas fixed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashen View Post
The story itself is decent, but the writing is difficult to follow...If at all possible, start using proper grammar. I mean, I don't care much whether you use your or you're, but capitalizing your I's would make it much easier to read.
fixed up the I's and a few other typeo's (e.g eye in stead of eyes)
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Old 07-10-2008, 10:14 PM
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darnpenguin darnpenguin is offline
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One thing I noticed: In dialogue, when a new person starts speaking, aren't you supposed to start a new paragraph?

Anyway, can't wait to see how this comes along. If you still plan on using Aviaquas Icemender in there, I'll be looking for him to show up.
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Old 07-24-2008, 04:56 PM
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didit didit is offline
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i forgot all about this story. i cant remember how it was suppose to end now...

so should we turn it in to something like the post by post role play?
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